


Philia

by 3sti



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Character, Canon Compliant, Confessions, F/M, Getting Together, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:48:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26700931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3sti/pseuds/3sti
Summary: Life has strange ways, Kiyoko knows this. Still, she doesn't expect to find out that Tanaka is able to communicate to her like they are both actual human beings -- but only after they lose at Nationals and she quits club activities. She also doesn't expect Tanaka to be the first person to contact her when she begins her studies at university, but it seems that the boy is still full of surprises.
Relationships: Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	Philia

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you [Laburnum26](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laburnum26) for betaing!
> 
> Story time: I wasn't entirelly delighted when they became canon, but a few days ago I had the concept of aroace Kiyoko and thought that I could work with that. This the final product of that and an attempt to fill the five-year-long hole in canon in a way that I like.

When Karasuno loses at Nationals, Kiyoko isn’t exactly sad. She is more concerned about Hinata and Tsukishima, and only after making sure that they are well does she finally realize that it’s the end.

She’s fulfilled. After all, she really enjoyed the three years she spent helping the team. She made friends with the boys and she could help them go to Nationals. She even found a new manager to take care of them. And with the team being in the top 8 of the country, she can truly say that she doesn’t have any regrets. That it was fun, and she’s glad she’s come here with them.

She knows she can let it go, the same way she let go of track and field after middle school. It was fun while it lasted, and she made some good memories, but now she has to focus on the upcoming entrance exams.

Still, the following Monday she accidentally sets her alarm as if she has to go to morning practice. The next week, she automatically heads towards the gym after classes. She only realizes her mistake when she sees Sugawara peeping in through the window.

“Sugawara, what are you doing?” she asks, and watches as the boy falls to the ground in surprise.

“Oh, Shimizu, you too?” Kiyoko doesn’t answer. “I was just wondering how they’re doing. Ennoshita seems to be getting used to being a captain. They’re quite lively in there.”

Suddenly a volleyball bounces out the open door of the gym, followed by Tanaka.

“Kiyoko-saan!” he shouts after he gets the ball. “Did you miss me so much that you came to watch our practice?”

“I didn’t.”

She did.

Well, not Tanaka specifically. If she had to say she missed someone on the team, then Hitoka-chan would definitely come first on the list. And the third years with whom she spent the most time with. But it’s not really a person but rather the feeling of being a part of the club that she misses. After all, her high school life revolved around the club, but now she’s confined only to her classroom, preparing for the entrance exams, and her classmates’ talk about relationships.

“Shimizu-chan looks like she could give good relationship advice,” one of her classmates says during lunch.

She really can’t. Instead of relationships, her first thought after classes was to get to the gym as fast as possible. To check if they have everything in order, to analyze previous matches. Maybe to hear Asahi out when he was feeling anxious, and help Sawamura set things up while Sugawara is telling some story or reciting the material.

“Really, Shimizu-san, you’re so pretty, you probably get a lot of confessions!”

Kiyoko could count the confessions on one hand. Of course, she heard that she’s regarded as pretty among both boys and girls, she heard the whispers and she was subjected to being in the presence of Nishinoya and Tanaka on a daily basis for two whole years. Still, she didn’t get a lot of confessions, which she suspects are partly the doings of the previously mentioned duo. Somehow, she’s glad for it.

“But she’s single. Say, do you plan to confess on Valentine's day?”

“I hadn’t really thought about that kind of thing,” she says uncertainly.

She thinks about how she’s never really talked to most of the boys in her class besides greetings and group projects and she never really felt interested in getting to know them more. And even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t know how to get close to them, so it’s a good thing that she didn’t care about it.

“You’re kidding!”

“Hm, but we were busy preparing for the Nationals, and now the entrance exams are coming up too, so I really didn’t have the time to even consider something like this,” she explains. She wonders how the others found time for dating while she has been so occupied with the team.

“You sure were busy. But don’t worry, club activities are over for us now!”

She isn’t worried at all. Rather, she feels a bit out of her element without the club.

“Oh, I know!” the girl sitting next to her exclaims. “It’s your captain, right? You seemed to get along.”

There are a few seconds when Kiyoko feels nothing but shock, but then she breaks out in laughter. “No way! Besides, he-- Sawamura already likes someone else.”

She felt rather shocked by the accusation. Sawamura was her friend, if anything. And even that was a label that she didn’t dare to put on her relationship with the other third years until around they qualified for Nationals. Still, do they look like... lovers to an outsider? Hopefully not, that would be mortifying. Sawamura is her friend, after all.

Sawamura, and Sugawara, and Asahi too. She misses the late night talks on the balcony with the other third years. She misses the first years’ bickering or the second years’ antics -- the days don’t feel normal without them anymore. She misses spending so much time with them and constantly thinking about and loving volleyball. She would much rather spend time with them than have these stupid relationship talks.

It’s like she has to say goodbye to her family and her home.

***

After graduation, Kiyoko finds herself 368 km away from everyone she knows. Technically, she does know quite a few people in Tokyo, but Asahi is on the opposite side of the city, and she can’t really count the managers from the Fukurodani Academic Group because she didn’t keep in touch with them after the last training camp. This bothers her a little because she’s always been shy, but she is more worried about the others. Have Sugawara and Sawamura found a good place in Sendai? Is anxiety overcoming Asahi in this new city? Can Ennoshita and Hitoka-chan manage the new first years? She hopes Nishinoya and Tanaka don't give the captain more headaches than the new freshmen.

Her first week is hectic -- full of changing trains and looking at maps and running around the campus searching for her classroom. She’s been so overwhelmed by the new place, the new people, and the amount of new information that she doesn’t even remember calling her parents. The others must be the same as her, because she hadn’t heard of them the whole week either. 

Interestingly enough, Tanaka is the first person to contact her when the semester starts. This is so unexpected that she has to pinch herself then call her parents because she apparently neglected them the entire week, and then ask Sugawara how college is going for them. Only after that can she deal with the message that came from Tanaka, which, on a second thought, isn’t so unexpected considering how obsessed he used to be with her -- she just thought that maybe he would forget about her after she graduated without ever giving him a hint of hope.

 **Tanaka to Kiyoko:** Good afternoon, Kiyoko-san! How have you been? Have you gotten used to Tokyo yet? How is college? Are the classes interesting? The team is doing well, Ennoshita really makes a good captain, and it seems we have some interesting first years this year too. They may not be as crazy as Hinata and Kageyama last year, but they definitely have potential.

***

After a few months, Kiyoko concludes that university is both how she expected it to be and completely different. She’s learning a lot of interesting things. She finds that her closet needs to be renewed -- there is no school uniform anymore, and now she has to be presentable in her own style, whatever that is. She sees her classmates study in cafés and while she likes the aesthetic of it -- and the coffee, too -- she finds she’s more productive at home or in the library. Group projects are as much of a disaster as she expected, although she thought studying in a park wouldn’t be so distracting.

She doesn’t make many close friends, but she gets along with most of her classmates and hangs out with some of them after classes. She also enjoys the feeling of getting to know a big city, and just being one small person in the crowd. All in all, she can tell her parents that she’s glad she enrolled in this university.

She doesn’t join any clubs, which leaves her more time for a part time job -- after all, apartments are expensive around campus -- and more free time, too. Many of her classmates have a similar schedule and they always make sure that she tries out some new things and lives a little.

“Hey, I heard the med students in the C block will throw a party on Sunday! We absolutely have to go!”

Kiyoko only has two thoughts about this. One: when she was applying to university, somehow parties didn’t cross her mind. Two: isn’t medicine supposed to be super difficult? How come they have the time to throw parties? And how does her classmate know so many med students?

“Ooh, I heard their parties are always lit! And there are, like, a lot of hot intellectual boys,” another classmate joins the conversation.

Despite her doubts, Kiyoko gives in and goes to the party. And then to another one, and another one, and so on. She doesn’t go to every one of them, of course, but it’s not like she’s so busy she can’t go to at least a few. She doesn’t even have to force herself -- she wants to spend time with her friends while not talking about studying. And Sugawara would definitely come and find her, too, if she didn’t even try going to one.

The problems only come around 2am when most of her friends pair up with someone and completely forget about their surroundings. Kiyoko watches as one of the girls pushes against some boy she only just met -- his hands slide down to her hips, one of her hands slides into his hair, and Kiyoko has to turn away in embarrassment. She figures that this kind of partying isn’t for her when even her last friend ditches her for a girl.

Instead of doing those things, she would rather call Sugawara, or catch up with Asahi in a café, or make some delicious food and watch a movie. At least then she wouldn’t feel different from the others when she doesn’t even bat an eye at the boys -- or the girls, or literally anyone. Back in the volleyball club she never felt so out of place, even though she was a manager girl, and the others were athlete boys.

It’s alright, though. Sure, she misses Karasuno, but this isn’t bad either. Life doesn’t end just because instead of hooking up with a random person she goes home after midnight. There are a lot more things she can do. She likes taking photos in the parks, she is fascinated by the library, and her friends take her to a lot of new places with good food, where they discuss popular shows over lunch or during a study break. So she can always exchange some good stories with the others from Karasuno, and reassure her parents that she’s doing well.

***

**Tanaka to Kiyoko:** Yuu passed the language exam. He’s a true man who is going to conquer the world.

 **Tanaka to Kiyoko:** Good evening, Kiyoko-san! You won’t believe this, but of all teams, Shiratorizawa requested a training match with us! Obviously, they are not the same without Ushiwaka, but they are still a powerhouse school.

 **Sugawara to Kiyoko:** It’s such a pity you can’t come back to Miyagi this weekend. I bet the boys would cry if you could.

 **Tanaka to Kiyoko:** Daichi-san and Suga-san visited us today! [...] It would have been nice if you could have come and see us too. I became even stronger since last year.

 **Tanaka to Kiyoko:** I don’t have the brains to go to university haha  
**Tanaka to Kiyoko:** Maybe I could do something sports related?

 **Tanaka to Kiyoko:** Thanks for the good luck charm, Kiyoko-san, it really helped us! We’re heading to Nationals again!

***

Sugawara makes it his life goal to organize a reunion and go watch Karasuno play at Nationals together; Kiyoko can only tell him that this wasn’t even a question. The stadium, the crowds, the noise, the smell -- everything is so nostalgic, and maybe their heart aches a little because they can’t be the ones on the court, but they watch their juniors proudly. It feels a bit like coming home.

Karasuno loses to the Miya twins in the 3rd round, and Kiyoko can see the familiar resignation and acceptance on their faces. Last year Asahi, Sawamura and Sugawara had the same expression -- they weren’t sad, they were happy to have come so far.

“Man, losing really sucks!” Tanaka shouts after they all leave the court. “I really thought we could win, after we showed them last year too!”

Hinata and Kageyama swear to take revenge on the Miya twins. They don’t know yet that there will be no more Miya twins after high school, only Miya Atsumu. They don’t know yet that Hinata will join a different team (funnily, the one where Miya Atsumu is the starting setter) to fulfill his first promise to Kageyama.

Life has strange ways that you can only submit to. Like, when you find out that your arch enemy came to the same high school as you. Like, when you lose at Nationals and you have to accept that the three years of high school volleyball is over for you, and that the thing you spent so much time and energy on will suddenly disappear from your life, only for new things to become more important to you.

But last year Takeda-sensei said that it wasn’t the end of anything for any of them, and that’s also a strange way of life. Like how Sawamura, Sugawara, Asahi, and Kiyoko too, have left high school volleyball and yet here they are, together. Like how Kiyoko found out Tanaka is actually capable of speaking to her like she is a normal human being, but only after she quit the club. But did she really quit? She left for university, but Tanaka frequently updates her, and the others mention it a lot too -- it feels like she’s still a part of Karasuno.

“Don’t be greedy! Winning once against someone doesn’t automatically mean you’ll win the next time, too,” Sawamura says, and pats Tanaka on the back before moving to the others.

“Shimizu-senpai, long time no see! I’m glad you could come,” Hitoka-chan says when she sits down next to her. Kiyoko notices that she has a lot more confidence than last year.

“I told you I would, didn’t I? It’s important to me too.”

Kiyoko feels warm. She remembers the first time she went home from university, only for a few days, and the town was the same (or she didn’t notice any changes), but it felt different. She wondered if Tokyo was her new “real” home now. Then she spoke with her parents, and ate her mother’s cooking, and she realized that home isn’t really a place. It’s her parents. It’s when she calls up her friend at 1 am when she’s stuck on an assignment. It’s high school volleyball and everything that came with it for her.

“So? Did you all figure out what you want to do after graduation?” Sawamura asks the new third years, and they all look away awkwardly. Kiyoko can relate; she didn’t really have a clear goal at first either, she only knew she would go to university and had a list of majors she definitely wasn’t interested in. In the end, she chose the business field because she had some experience from her managerial duties.

“I guess I’ll just join my father’s real estate business, but I’m looking for schools where I can learn some business to have a trade,” Narita speaks up finally, then turns to the others to tell them to man up and tell their plans too.

“Look at them, growing up!” Sugawara grins and punches their junior’s shoulder. Kiyoko really hopes that he will get rid of his violent way of showing affection by the time he starts teaching.

“That’s nice, Narita-kun. I major in finance, so we might end up studying something different, but feel free to ask me if you have any questions,” she says before the boys start gushing over Kinoshita’s unexpected choice of being a train driver. Maybe, if Kiyoko stays in Tokyo, one day she will ride his train.

It turns out that this year only Ennoshita will pursue higher education, and most of the others will do some course or training to learn a trade. Well, it’s not like Karasuno was the elite high school that made everyone an intellectual. Next year they will have Kageyama going pro right after graduation, and Hinata doing beach volleyball for a few years, probably in Brazil -- Kiyoko has a hard time processing it. On the one hand, it’s Brazil, surely she just imagined hearing it; on the other hand, it’s Hinata we’re talking about.

Speaking of abroad -- she remembers one of Tanaka’s messages from a few months back. “Nishinoya, I heard you passed a language examination. Congratulations.”

“You did?! Thank you, Kiyoko-san!” She can literally see the heart eyes.

“You did?!” Sawamura also asks Kiyoko, while Sugawara says, “Nishinoyaa, good job! And? Where are you gonna go?”

“Are we not going to talk about how he only barely passed?” Asahi cuts in.

They sit down on the stands to watch Fukurodani’s match and the boys get into a heated debate about the opposing team’s blocking. It’s only then that Tanaka goes to sit next to Kiyoko and properly speaks to her the first time since… well, if the texts don’t count, then graduation. Or perhaps it was the day before, since after the ceremony there was only a short time for the whole team to bid them farewell.

“It’s good to see you again,” Tanaka smiles at her. He’s back to being surprisingly shy, just like when he offered to take her bag last year. Even though his messages are usually so energetic.

“You were great on the court, it was a good match to watch. You really became the ace.”

“But we lost.”

“Well, most teams do. Do you have any regrets?” Tanaka’s face crunches at the accusation. Of course he doesn’t. He worked hard, he did everything he could. “That’s what’s important,” Kiyoko says then. “We didn’t, either.”

“You know, you’re different now,” he says after a bit of thinking, probably not knowing how to phrase it.

“Am I?”

“Like, you speak differently. More directly, I guess?” Now he’s gesturing all over the place to somehow express it’s not a bad thing or anything, it’s just how it is, and he noticed it. It’s quite a funny sight and Kiyoko chuckles a bit. “I guess going to university does that to people.” 

“Hm, I guess that’s right. But I think that first and foremost I wouldn’t be where I am right now without all of you at Karasuno,” she admits.

It’s easier to be good to yourself when you come from a good place. She’s eternally grateful for Sawamura for asking her to join the club and making her feel she was useful and needed. She’s grateful for all of Sugawara’s pep talks, and lately, university life hacks. She would really miss Asahi’s company -- he always shows her unique places and nowadays he even gives fashion advice. Hitoka-chan was the first person whom she told her story about middle school and she will forever feel empowered by the small girl’s words. The list goes on, everyone on the team was irreplaceable and made her high school years as good as they were. But lately, she has been most grateful to Tanaka for showing her that she still matters and belongs among them.

***

They meet up again just before the next school year starts and Kiyoko has to go back to Tokyo. It’s a cozy new café close to the station and their cheesecake is godly. Kiyoko reminds herself that after one year of texting she shouldn’t be surprised anymore about finding Tanaka good company. Somehow, he managed to level up from obnoxious calls for attention to being able to normally converse with her. Although it took him two years -- and that was only the beginning of the process -- Kiyoko finds that she’s glad to have stuck around.

After they finish their cakes and drinks Tanaka clears his throat and speaks up.

“So, Kiyoko-san. It’s White Day today.”

Kiyoko didn’t know this. Of course she knows that it’s March 14th, and she is aware that that's the date for White Day, but it’s never really been relevant for her so she just forgot this detail. For a brief moment, she doesn’t even remember that that’s Valentine's Day 2.0. Well, she’s always been like that -- she never thought about these kinds of things.

“Oh… so this is a…”

“It can be a date,” Tanaka finishes for her. The realization comes as a shock.

“You probably remember how we first met.” How could she forget? She would like to joke about it, but the only thing she feels is a lump in her throat. Some instinct tells her to escape but she’s frozen. “I was young and stupid at the time, but I like to think that I matured a bit since then. The thing is, even after three years, I still feel the same. No, I think that since I properly got to know you my feelings are even stronger. I’m not so stupid as to propose to you today, but I want to ask you out. Kiyoko-san, I like you. Please go out with me.”

Some people could kill for a confession but the only way she feels is terrible. She can’t look at Tanaka’s face anymore so she looks at her hands in her lap, gone white from clenching them too hard.

“I’m sorry but I can’t,” Kiyoko says quietly. She isn’t sure if she feels sorry for Tanaka, or sorry that she wouldn’t be able to reciprocate his feelings even if she wanted to. “I don’t think I can fall in love. At all. With anyone. Ever. I… I think I might be asexual and aromantic,” she admits, still looking down.

“Oh… thanks for telling me, I guess? Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“No, I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Can we talk about something else?”

They talk about the classes Kiyoko will take next semester, the shirt with the terrible pattern that Asahi made and gifted to Nishinoya, and Saeko’s bike gang. They even order one more coffee.

After she gets home, Kiyoko heads straight toward her room, jumps on the bed, and breaks down crying. She’s just feeling too much. This was the first time that she really put a label on her situation and she was given pure acceptance. After years of feeling excluded from girl talk, hearing that she’s weird for focusing on other things, and going home alone from parties where she went with her friends... It’s as if a weight has been lifted from her, but she can’t feel relieved. She wanted to do something for the person who made her feel it’s okay to be like this. Yet the only thing she could give her was complete and hopeless rejection.

***

Tanaka doesn’t give up and Kiyoko doesn’t know what she had expected. While Tanaka doesn’t mention anything related to romance or expect anything from her, she knows that these kinds of feelings don’t just disappear -- or at least that’s what she heard.

And she knows Tanaka, she observed him every day for two years, and then kept texting him for another year. During this time, she learned quite a few things about him, and she would even go as far as to call him a friend. This is why she knows that he’s a sincere person and that everything he said on their d-- it wasn’t a date, Tanaka said so -- was serious. This knowledge weighs on Kiyoko so much that she doesn’t know if she should be happy that he keeps texting her. She guesses she will write back every time, as long as Tanaka puts up with her -- after all, she does enjoy talking with him.

***

**Sawamura to Kiyoko:** They won 1-3.

 **Sugawara to Kiyoko:** I know we're meeting on New Year's but I guess I'll see you in Tokyo this year too!  
**Sugawara to Kiyoko:** *next year (?)  
**Sugawara to Kiyoko:** (let’s just say this time)

 **Asahi to Kiyoko:** Did you hear it?

 **Tanaka to Kiyoko:** We're going to see them, right?  
**Kiyoko to Tanaka:** Of course.

Despite all the planning and excitement, the reunion doesn't go as easily as planned. Asahi is busy with his final project, Sawamura and Sugawara have work and classes on the first two days, Ennoshita can’t come at all because of a lab class, Narita can't pay for the shinkansen and Nishinoya is… Kiyoko has to admit she can't keep up with where he is, but she might have heard something about the brutality of winter in Hokkaido.

According to the original plans, Tanaka is also supposed to come for the 3rd day, but on a last minute decision he skips a few more classes to join Kiyoko on the 2nd day. Karasuno wins in straight sets and Tanaka gives the team a whole five-minute speech of how proud he is. After talking out the best moments, the team heads back to their hotel and the two of them go sightseeing.

"I think this is my first time properly seeing Tokyo," Tanaka muses as he takes another picture of the Sky Tree from a distance.

"Really? Not even on a class trip?"

"No, we went to places like Kyoto and the surrounding prefectures."

"It's a huge city so you won't be able to see much in just one afternoon. I've been living here for two years but I still only know a really small part of it," she admits, and makes a mental note to finally go to those famous parks when winter is over.

"Then show me the best parts! Or wherever you usually go, that would be cool too."

"I bet you're interested in Shibuya the most."

Kiyoko takes him to most of the attractions in the vicinity that might be interesting for single-minded tourists. Tanaka is fascinated by the Hachiko statue and asks Kiyoko to take at least a hundred pictures of him posing with the dog. It’s quite endearing.

The next day, Sawamura and the others wait for them at the entrance.

“I have questions,” Sugawara says with a raised eyebrow, pointing to Kiyoko and Tanaka.

“I thought Kino was supposed to tell you that I skipped my classes yesterday?” Tanaka asks, either not understanding or not caring about the implication.

“Dude, our reservation is from today. Where did you even sleep?”

“Uhm, I live close and I have a couch, you know. It’s cheaper than booking a room,” Kiyoko helps out, and with that they seem to drop the topic for the time being.

Sugawara finds her around the vending machines just before Karasuno’s match starts.

“Soooo, Shimizu. Any boys around?”

“No, not you too. You never asked about this in high school, why do you have to start now?” It might come out a bit harsh, but well, she’s had enough of this question for a lifetime -- and she’s only twenty. She always hears it from her family when she visits every few months, and some of her friends also try to “make her more outgoing”, which is more like trying to get her to date instead of being so diligent in her studies.

“I just-- Sorry.”

“Sugawara, if there was something going on you would hear about it eventually. It’s just that there’s nothing to tell about. I’m not really interested in that,” she explains, a bit guilty that she made Sugawara apologize.

The good thing about Sugawara is that he’s so considerate and understanding. He leaves the previous conversation behind, grins at her, and says, “But really, who would have thought you would get along with Tanaka one day!”

“Oh, believe me, I was the most surprised that he’s capable of communicating like a human being,” she answers, smiling back at him. They head back to the stands together.

Karasuno wins both matches on the 3rd day and since they don’t know half of the starting members on the team, they reminisce about how disastrous the other half were during their first year. Tsukishima was a major asshole -- he still is, according to Tanaka, but he’s become more cooperative. One could even say that the middle blocker’s behaviour towards Kageyama has become more of a banter among friends, however harsh it appears to be. Sugawara cries again when he sees how good Hinata became at receiving, and Sawamura just has to mention how the boy used to receive with his face back in their days. Kinoshita explains how Yamaguchi was chosen to be captain unanimously, which is both surprising and the only real option, when Kiyoko thinks about it.

“Hey, I just realized,” Asahi starts. “We don’t know any of the new members, so this is kind of the last Nationals we get to see, right?”

“Asahi! Why did you have to say it?!” Suga scolds him, while everyone else looks at the court with a bittersweet feeling.

“Well, someone had to say it eventually! We have to acknowledge it to be able to make plans to meet up another way!” Asahi goes on the defensive.

“We should throw a party on New Year’s! To celebrate y’all’s birthdays and everything,” Tanaka suggests then.

“Yeah, and we can still get together to see Kageyama’s matches.”

“Hey, aren’t tickets to pro matches really hard to get? And super expensive?” Kinoshita asks, and when they think about how they are soon becoming real adults with their own salaries, and bills to pay, and they don’t know if they should cry or laugh.

“We should definitely get together when the two of you graduate in two years,” Asahi looks at Sugawara and Kiyoko.

“Then we should celebrate you and Sawamura this year,” she answers.

***

**Tanaka to Kiyoko:** The mochi was really delicious! As expected from Kiyoko-san!

 **Tanaka to Kiyoko:** Do you have any plans for Golden Week?

 **Tanaka to Kiyoko:** I looked it up and they’re based in Oita. The summers are crazy hot there, will he be alright?  
**Kiyoko to Tanaka:** Well, it’s Kageyama. I don’t think such mundane things as the weather can stop him from playing to the best of his abilities.  
**Tanaka to Kiyoko:** Right, how could I even assume

 **Kiyoko to Tanaka:** Merry Christmas! I went to the market with my roommate -- she’s feeling really festive, and we bought a bunch of decorations. I’ll send a picture when we put them up. (But she will hear about it if I can’t finish my essay in time.)

***

“Kiyoko-chan, are you going home after you’re done with your exams?” her roommate asks her at the beginning of the exam period. Kiyoko doesn’t really understand the sudden interest, but she supposes it’s so she can plan when to have her boyfriend over.

“Yeah, I’ll go home for a week. Then I have work from the 15th.”

“Heeh.”

“What is it?” she asks, not really understanding the suggestive tone and look.

“Va-len-tine’s.” Oh. “Do you have anyone back in Miyagi? You seemed to be looking forward to going home lately.”

“Did I?”

She supposes she’s really looking forward to going home. But it’s just natural, she hadn’t seen her family since her short visit before New Year, and she promised Hitoka-chan to catch up as well. Sure, she’s been looking forward to meeting Tanaka too, but it’s not a date at all. And it’s not even on Valentine’s Day, she will be on the train back then already.

***

It’s actually February 12th, and not a cute café but a nice hole-in-the wall place, and they are drinking kriek at 4pm. It’s exactly what she needs after her exams, and after the second glass she feels like life’s never been better. She’s a bit sorry for thinking like this now when she met Yachi a few days ago, and they ate the best crepes ever to exist, but nowadays she feels like it’s more relaxing to be with this stupid boy.

“The gym I go to is looking for a new trainer, they are expanding, I guess. Of course, I jumped at the offer, and I think I’ll get it. They know me and everything,” Tanaka tells her excitedly. He’ll finish his training in a month and then start working. It’s a bit funny that he’s becoming an independent adult sooner than Kiyoko will, but she isn’t the one who decided university should be four years long. “Besides, if they have someone as handsome as me, there’ll be a bunch of new girls wanting membership, it’s good for the business!”

“Are you supposed to say something like that on a date?” Kiyoko asks, laughing.

“I wasn’t--,” Tanaka starts protesting, then he finally realizes what she said. “Wait, this is… but you’re… wait, what?!”

“Don’t think too hard. I guess I’m just comfortable enough with you to say it like that,” she smiles at him. Then, she looks out the window and says, “I’ve been thinking of coming back to Miyagi after I graduate. Most of the important people are here.”

***

“I’ve been thinking.”

They say it at the same time when they next meet in person. Kiyoko decides Tanaka should speak first and she will just adapt to whatever he has to say. It’s better to hear him out than to discourage him right from the beginning.

“I’ve been thinking about… us… and whatever our relationship is. It isn’t really just friendship, is it? I mean, even if we don’t count my feelings, it’s never like this with any of the girls in my class and, well… you called it a date. I know you didn’t really mean it like that, but still, it is how it feels like, you know.”

Kiyoko knows. It does feel like a date, and it’s different from when she catches up with Asahi in a café. Still, there is no excitement, no hair twirling, no butterflies in her stomach, or whatever.

“So please don’t kill me when I ask this again: will you go out with me?”

This time, she isn’t so surprised, or uncomfortable, or conflicted. She didn’t think about dating, of course, but she had also been thinking about what they were , what the last three years between them were, and how glad she is to be this close to Tanaka.

“But I can’t love you romantically. And I don’t think I can--”

“I know,” Tanaka cuts in before she can say anything about everything that would make her uncomfortable. “It’s just a label. I’m not forcing you to do anything you don’t want to, or expect you to fall in love or something like that. Kiyoko-san, I’m so in love with you that I’ll be happy with whatever way you’ll have me.”

Kiyoko might want to cry -- to have someone who accepts and loves her like this. Does she even deserve this?

She makes a decision.

“I… think we can try that.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [tumblr](https://3stike.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/3stike).


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